For this #Top10Tuesday we’re looking at the worst office pet peeves.
Offices can be wonderful places to work, where you make new friends and even fall in love. But for every good day and happy ending, there are lots of small, annoying, horror stories.
Here are some Euroffice solutions to dealing with those office annoyances.
The Extra Loud And Messy Eater
“Gobble. Slobber. Gulp.” You see them. You hear them. The messy eater whose crunches and snorts are accompanied by jets of ketchup flying from their lunchtime burger and stringy lettuce arcing through the air to land on your desk.
The Smelly Colleague
Every office has one, the whiffy co-worker. Nobody can quite determine that particular aroma: vinegar and onion? Eggs and wet socks?
Whatever the scent’s origin, you could gently steer your next conversation with them towards personal hygiene. But it may be more effective to discreetly place an air freshener near their desk.
Your Gossiping Workmates
Nobody likes it when personal stories are shared around the office, or if they hear a rumour spread about them, without being able to pinpoint the culprits.
The solution? Chewing gum. Give the office gossip some strawberry gum, and then offer a suspected gossip some lime-flavoured gum. As you walk around, if you pick up the scent of lime and strawberry in the same place, you know they’ve been colluding. Targets identified.
(Don’t worry about causing a mess – we’ve got chewing gum remover for you).
Cigarette Butts On The Floor
This is a personal peeve of mine. Not only do I dislike the smell of cigarette smoke on clothes, I can’t stand seeing ‘fag ends’ outside offices. Luckily over here at Euroffice Towers we don’t have this particular problem, but plenty of businesses do.
Every company should have an ash bin in its smoking area. To give employees an incentive to dispose of their cigs properly, you could even offer to donate money to health charities for each full bin.
Missing TP and Pongy Loos
Nobody likes reaching for toilet paper to find the roll has run out, or walking into a cubicle and sensing the spirit of the previous occupant. That’s why every office loo has to be well stocked with TP and an odour remover, such as Oust.
(Could you find a humorous way to remind people to replace loo roll and use odour removers? Perhaps have an office vote and hope the perpetrator chooses a strong one.)
Mouldy Food In The Fridge
Office fridges should be little palaces of treats and happiness, not bio-weapon laboratories. Finding rotting and mouldy lunch in the fridge is a quick way to ruin an appetite.
Have an office rule that all food has to be labeled. The owner of any item that goes off is on fridge-cleaning duty for the next week. Give them some all-purpose cleaner, disposable gloves and tell them to get to work. Scrub scrub scrub.
Not Taking Responsibility
An oft-mentioned pet peeve is colleagues that won’t take responsibility for their mistakes. They try to weasel out of it, say it’s not their fault or blame someone else. In short, they behave like children. So should we treat them as kids?
The next time a teammate starts playing Stropahontas, speak out. Tell them they’re being naughty and if they keep acting up, say you’re bringing out the high chair. (And, yes, literally bring it out.)
Some people feel that dressing inappropriately in the office is about showing too much skin. (“When Gavin displayed his décolletage my face went as white as his chest.”) I don’t know about you, but for me it’s not matching your outfit’s colours properly.
If you’ve got a phoney fashionista that keeps fumbling, just make them wear a bin-bag poncho for each indiscretion. They’ll soon smarten up.
The Loud And Clueless
Whether it’s talking on the phone about personal medical matters, that annoying laugh, or playing music that could deafen the dead, some office workers are just too damn loud.
The solution? Turn their racket against them with the patented Euroffice B.U.C.K.E.T System. (That stands for Blocking Unwelcome Communication and Knoise – Especially Talking.)
Just take the B.U.C.K.E.T and place it carefully on their head; it’s sophisticated equipment. Their own aural feedback will persuade them to stop posthaste.
The Nail Clippers
I don’t think this peeve is that common, but it makes up for it by being horrifying – staff clipping their nails at their desks. (And I’m sure some of those are toenails too.)
Honestly, I can’t think of any way to deal with this. Someone so clueless won’t ever learn, so you should just scatter safety signs around their desk and move to a different part of the office.
Heck, move to a different country.
What are your pet peeves in the office? Let us know in the comments and on Twitter.