Three Alternatives to Football Penalties

Three Alternatives to Football Penalties

Three alternatives to football penalties

You’ve probably heard people banging on about penalty shootouts recently. Yes, yes, they’re exciting and dramatic, but couldn’t it be made dramatic-er? 

We’ve found three examples of silly and dangerous competitions that could replace penalties and, if you’re lucky, get football banned forever.  #Footballwidows rejoice!

Fisherman jousting

Played in ancient Egypt, two groups of men in papyrus boats used sticks and poles to knock seven shades out of each other and push their opponents overboard.  If that doesn’t sound bad enough, not many people could swim.  Oh and the water was full of crocodiles.


Played since 1,400 BC in ancient Mexico and Central America, this ballgame was used to settle disputes and as a proxy for warfare.  Players had to hit the ball with their hips.  It was so heavy – up to 4kg/9lbs – that you really, really didn’t want to head it.


Dating back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, in Morra you and your opponent stick out a hand with a number of fingers held out and guess aloud how many fingers in total there’ll be.  The person that guesses correctly wins.  Apparently it also makes you scream like an angry toddler.

Rock, paper, scissors

OK, this a bonus but at least it’s actually been used in business.  In 2005 auction houses Sotheby’s and Christie’s played to decide which would sell a $20m art collection that included a Cézanne, a Picasso and a Van Gogh.   Christie’s won – with scissors.

Do any of these take your fancy? Maybe you could modify them for the office.  Perhaps you can decide who makes the tea by having two people stand over the kitchen sink and hit each other with pens and pencils.

There are 2 comments for this article
  1. Euroffice Customer at 1:00 pm

    Hmm, that’s an interesting idea. I suspect it’ll be a long time before FIFA think of something so creative – they need to work on putting replays in first. 😉

  2. Euroffice Customer at 12:59 pm

    If a match ends in a draw, why not award the result to the team who had the most shots on goal ? this would encourage attacking football and reward the more adventurous sides !!

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