Stationery To Survive The Apocalypse

Imagine that the world is suddenly overrun by zombies, falls into a new ice age, or is attacked by giant lizards (from space, of course). What stationery would you need to survive?

That’s Apocalypse Friday.

TV in October is great for shlocky horror and goofy apocalypse movies, so we thought we’d have a bit of fun with the idea. We’ve come up with some novel ways to use everyday office items to survive in a post-apocalyptic world. What do you think?

Bottled Water

A cliché of the apocalypse film, especially ones made in the 80s, is that ‘water is more precious than gold‘. Even futuristic barbarians need to keep hydrated to avoid unsightly wrinkles. That’s why I’d take bottled water with me, both for survival and for barter. Just think of each water-cooler refill as a really heavy wallet.

Duct Tape

Everyone in a post-apocalyptic wasteland should have some duct tape for emergency repairs and bandaging paper cuts. You might think of this miracle material as being most useful in the post room, but this stuff’s been used on the moon. The moon! You can’t get much more desolate than that.

Bubblewrap

How many times have we seen movies where our heroine, being chased by zombies and exhausted, comes to the edge of a cliff with nowhere to run? In the Euroffice version, she’d just bundle her self up in bubblewrap and leap off. Boing!

Ring Binder

The Swiss Army Knife of stationery, a ring binder won’t only hold and protect your survival map, but its snappy-shut mechanism makes a handy improvised weapon; we’ve all caught our fingers in them. And if you’re in an arctic apocalypse, you can use it as a sled. Just be careful how you sit on it.

Diary

If you think you’re all alone in the world, literally, a diary is a way to release your emotions and keep track of all the things you’ve seen and done. Even the hardiest wasteland survivors need a bit of therapy now and then…. And if you do happen to come across a fellow survivor, well, a diary will look less mental than sharing your feelings with a sock puppet. Or a volleyball named Wilson.

Label Printer

After a lengthy battle against angry birds and hungry hippos, you’ve reclaimed a bluff overlooking a valley. Setting up camp, you realise you need to ward off intruders. Should you display the bones of vanquished beasts as a warning? Maybe. But a label maker is much neater. No junk mail, cold callers or mutant warlords, thank you.

Those are our ideas for what you’d need to survive #ApocalypseFriday, but have we missed anything? Use the comments to tell us what stationery you’d choose and why.

Did this story get you thinking? Then check out these other quirky Euroffice blogs.

• Does the Death Star have an office manager?
• A ghillie suit for the workplace
• Don’t build this in the office